TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury?

Published 14 May 2009, Posted in Northland / 1 Comment

A story by Andrew Bell

For all you people out there having cause to read this, you will know that the very phrase cuts deep into you and can leave you feeling dejected and scared about the future, whether for yourself or another affected by this beast.

It has taken me the best part of two and a half years to finally be able to make a start on this piece and I don’t need to explain why to any of you I’m sure. Things are not always as easy to get stuck into as they once were and I am in no way a writer. However I would like to share something with you all.

My story is not the most remarkable you will ever read about and I am not one for broadcasting myself to the world, but accepting that my injury has had a huge impact on not only my life, but also the lives of everybody I love has been so difficult and important to come to terms with.

I’m not sure that I have completely achieved this state of mind yet but with the help of my wonderfully loving family, friends and my incredible rehab team I continue to strive for it.

What I am is very motivated and determined that the cards I was dealt on 31.12.2006 will not have control over me , rather I will control my own destiny in the belief that this will ultimately make me strong enough to return to a successful career and feel happy with who I am. It has been a long hard journey to where I am now, and I am by no means where I want to be yet.

There have been some defining moments along the way as I’m sure you all have endured your own. Seeing my lovely wife and two daughters crying, watching my brother reduced to tears as I began to crawl across my lounge during early rehab and hearing my parents so upset were all incredibly powerful moments for me.

These experiences made me so determined that I wasn’t going to stay in that particular space and when things are difficult I think about those times and how they made me feel. I believe you can find out a lot about yourself along the way, I know I have. It is a hard trawl through seemingly endless rehab, trying to stay upbeat about completing seemingly trivial tasks, but therein lies the answer, completing something gives you such a great feeling of satisfaction.

If you think you can, you can!

This is a phrase I have long lived my life by, and has helped enormously since my accident. Setting yourself agoal and actually seeing it through is one of the most rewarding things out there, especially when you doubt the speed of your recovery or are feeling frustrated with your lot! “Is this as good as its going to get?” “What does the future have in store for me, will I ever get my life back!”…. Hello , this is your life , don’t let something else determine who you are or where you want to be, fashion your own world, based on goals you can achieve now and do something positive towards your future.

Things will get better honestly, I’m not saying easier all the time because that simply is not true, as time goes on and my goals have taken on a more positive productive edge they seem all the harder to achieve. Stay determined and focused and you will get there. I’m determined I will.

From taking five minutes to crawl across my lounge to completing my first five kilometre walk was a huge effort. I now walk that distance at least twice a week.

There are some much bigger challenges ahead now for me, writing this being one of them. It’s true to say that my goals are not your goals but the one we can all share is this:- “On any given day be the best that you can be,” then you have achieved something and should feel proud of yourself.

It is unrealistic expectation that causes frustration. TBI – Traumatic Brain Injury? Yes…. But I prefer to think of it like this….

T – Test yourself
B – Believe in yourself
I – Inspire yourself

Thanks for reading,

Andrew Bell
April 2009